You wish to attain union with God, to really get to know him, or to abandon yourself entirely to him. So you are determined and try hard to achieve it, but that's not going about it the right way. The effective, effortless way is to relax, go passive, and open yourself up to God. Then he sees you and will come quickly to fulfill your desire. Picture the Lord at the top of a high steep mountain and you want to reach him. You can try climbing the mountain, struggling all the way, or just let him see that you'd like go to him and wait for him to send down a speedy tram to carry you to him in no time. As I'd said before, the password for logging into God was "passive." To let God work effectively in you life, just yield yourself to him completely.