Seeking union with God is a gradual process. We were born with the self-preservation instinct and are wary of anyone who should take control of us. Of course, the Lord God is not anyone, but we do sense that he'd be more powerful than any other being. Therefore, surrendering yourself to him is not an attractive thought. Normally, in seeking his help, we start to yield to him somewhat and discover that he could indeed change us internally. This experience which always excites and amazes us can continue until we begin to realize that God is not out to control us, but to free us! The key is not to stop now, but to push on actively instead. Then in time you are able to abandon yourself totally to the Lord God and experience peace and freedom in joy. You have now been completely lifted out of your self-imposed misery!